There's no doubt that having a baby is the most amazing blessings and bonding time in a couple's life. With the arrival of your first child you're no longer a couple, you become a family. I have seen through out the years that many couples today when they have a child lose focus on their marriage. The most important thing you can do for your child is to have a good relationship with your spouse. It creates a good environment for that child. Listed below are a few tips to help keep your Marriage alive.
One thing I recommend for all couples is a date night once a week or at least once a month. This does help to just reconnect with your mate and refresh. I Have found what really seems to help and is a weekend away several times a year. This helps clear most of the daily stress and renew your relationship. Its important to laugh, smile, not talk about the bills, or any stresses. Just take a deep breath and enjoy the alone time your having with your mate. Love , respect, communication, friendship and having fun is a huge part of keeping a marriage strong.
Faith and Religion in the family.
There is a saying that is so true. A family who prays together stays together. I really feel this is true on many levels. We do not believe going to church saves you but it does help keep us all grounded. Its like going to school. If you don't go to school you can't learn any thing new. Socializing with others of the same good religion is important. As a adult now I know if I've done all I can with a problem then I pray and leave it for God to handle. Without strong faith in God I would not have hope in my life. Its nice to know some how God hears my prayer and some how God is helping me through a hard time. Family and kids need the guidance of good values to hold on too. The world gives us enough trash to deal with almost daily so its so important to have the roots and teaching of the bible to guide us.
What is a emotional Affair? will you may not be having sex with one else but the hurt is almost the same. In an emotional affair you are sharing feelings, time, conversations, with another person, that should be happening in your marriage. There is an intimacy that you feel with this person. This feeling is stronger and goes beyond the kind of closeness you feel with other people. The most important and red flag sign is it takes away from your relationship with your spouse. You would rather talk to them, feel more relaxed, and have more fun with them and not with your spouse. This is when you know you’re crossing a line.
Emotional Affairs are Not Sexual yet but in time could become that way.
Most traditional affairs start out as an emotional affair first. Basically, people get close and develop a relationship based on a common problem or an issue. Basically, an emotional affair if it goes on long enough most likely will become a sexual affair. Its really a matter of time. Unless its recognized and stopped, If given enough time and energy plus attention, it will become an affair. Many will say " No way we are just friends." The fact is if all you want to do is be with your friend more then your mate, have more fun with, talk to more, feel close and relax with more then your mate, then there is a problem. Now if this happens between the same sex and your not worried about sex becoming a problem it still is a problem of emotional disconnect with your mate. God created marriage and united your marriage as one unit. This means we got to want to be with our mate for most of our lives and connect with them more then others. Its good to have friends with common life issues as long as by the end of the day you share your most deep life experiences , hopes, dreams, problems with your soul mate.
The Nest is Empty
Wow a hard time for many. I just experienced it myself year 2011. My last child of 5 just graduated from high school, got marriage and moved out. I was so sad and emotional for 3 months. I felt so lost and empty inside. The felt like crying every day and in shock how the years went by so fast . How I wanted more time, and felt there was more I wanted to do with her yet. I felt that sadness with the other children when they moved out too but I still had kids at home and that helped with the pain. Now my last one moved out and grow up in my mind too fast . My husband was fine. He seen pass all that and was thinking of all the extra money we may have , the extra time to do things together as a couple. No more helping with home work, getting them up for school etc. Me on the other hand , will I was a mess. Again because of my strong faith in God it helped me pull through this. Good Friends and family was a great deal of support too.
I had to learn about me again. I had to learn how to reconnect with my husband again. we have more time and can now do things we could not with kids at home. I also had to learn how to let go of the years I can not get back. As a mom that is the hardest for me. I pray tons more now then before. I have more time for ME and US our MARRIAGE. This is now what many call the golden years. Trust me I still have my days where I feel sad how fast the years went. I just have to realize this is the new page in my life I must walk through. I want to be happy so I am finding out more how to live that way. Here are some ways I have found to help reconnect with my spouse now that the nest is empty.
•Start by Reconnecting: Take two minutes to touch base and find out what’s ahead for your partner. Take 20 minutes every evening to reconnect, to ask how everything went and share the details of your day. Its like glue that helps keep you in connection with each other
•Show Physical Affection: You remember that, right? The sweet kisses, the love words whispered in your ear, the cuddling on the couch. how about the longs hugs and back rubs. And more sex is nice too. It makes a huge difference. Do it.
•Date Your Spouse: Now you got more time and money so go out on dates more. If money is a issue. Then go on a bike ride, take walks together. Get creative and reconnect like you did when you first started dating before marriage and kids. “Start living life again. .Have fun, make it playful and don't bring bills, family or friends problems into the discussions . If the daily grind has ground your fun-loving former self into a state of darkness then sit down and make a list of the things you used to do, Time to think back when you were dating or first married, before the kids came along and life got so hectic. Movie dates, of course, but what else? Picnics in the park? Pizza night with friends watching a movie. Baseball games, dancing , swimming at the beach, bowling, card games what ever just think back. You can do it, find a way to have fun again.
“Couples who play together," "stay together."
1.Give him direct eye contact when you're talking to him and say something encouraging. Build up your man with loving words.
2.Stop to hug him or give him a love tap or kiss when you pass by his way.
3.Ask him if there's any thing he'd like you to pray for, or pray together. ( a couple who pray together stay together) .
4. Look nice for him . Wear an outfit that he likes on you.
5.Reach for his hand when you're walking or sitting next to him.
6.Ask him if he'd like anything when you make a trip to the kitchen.
7. Go on a date at least 2 times a month just the two of you., even if its out for just a cup of coffee. .
8.Don’t use moodiness as an attempt to manipulate your man. Show him respect and be a lady. Give weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. If it is some thing little but means so much to him then maybe he can do some thing for you too. Work as a team.
9.Make his favorite meal or dessert.
10.Leave a little note someplace creative like lipstick on the mirror in your bathroom .
11.Offer to do something that you know he enjoys doing.
12.Send him a romantic email or text.
13.Offer him a word of encouragement by saying something positive.
14.Say something positive about him to others when you're together.
15.Listen to him when he's stressed. You might not have a solution, but listening goes a long way.
16.Thank him for being supportive.
17. Never with hold sex from him. Make love to your husband to keep you both feeling loved..
18. Do things together as couple and have fun, laugh, be happy..
19.Let him know that you respect and admire his leadership.
20.What makes him unique? Point it out to him!
21.Hold back on the nagging. Bite your lip if you must, and communicate your thoughts with patience.
22.Take time to greet him when he arrives and see him off when he leaves.
23. Talk to each other, do not yell or cut each other down. Listen and be slow to anger.
24.Surprise him by doing one of his regular chores before he gets a chance like taking out the garbage. .
25.Be calm and change your attitude it will go a long way in setting his.
26.Cut arguments short by letting go of your need to be right. Wait until you both cool down and communicate your thoughts with patience and kindness--another day.
27.Relax and let yourself laugh. Have fun with him.
28. Do some thing sexy for him,
29. Let the past hurts go and move on if your want to save your marriage. Start out new. .
30.When he's lying in bed or on the couch, bend over and whisper in his ear, "You're the best friend I've ever had." I love you.
30 Ways to Keep Your Man Happy And Marriage Strong
The husband's responsibilities as set forth in God's Word are very clear...
1) He is to love his wife, yea, to keep on loving her, even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it (Eph. 5:25). How did Christ love the Church? Did He not sacrifice and give His all for it? Do you exhibit self-denying, sacrificial love for your wife, seeking her highest and best regardless of personal cost?
2) He is to take his proper place as her head, knowing that the Head of every man is Christ (1 Cor. 11:3).
3) He is to always love his wife as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her, even as Christ does the Church (Eph. 5:28-29). It says "nourishing her" not "nagging her."
4) He is to always live with her according to knowledge, showing honor to her as unto the weaker vessel and also as a fellow-heir together with him of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).
5) He is to keep on rendering and giving back to her that which he owes her as his wife (1 Cor. 7:3, referring especially to sexual obligations).
As the godly husband fulfills his responsibilities, the godly wife will be encouraged to fulfill hers, which include the following:
1) She will submit to him, yea, to keep on submitting to him in everything, even as the Church is subject to Christ (Eph. 5:22-24).
2) She will love him (Tit. 2:4).
3) She will always reverence and respect him (Eph. 5:33).
4) She will be obedient to him even as Sarah was obedient to Abraham, calling him lord (1 Pet. 3:5-6).
5) She will keep on rending and giving back to him that which she owes him as her husband (1 Cor. 7:3, referring especially to sexual obligations).
The marriage relationship is meant to be a beautiful picture of Christ's relationship to His church, to His believers. The wife has an awesome responsibility because she is picturing the church (the believer) and how the believer is to be in submission to Christ. As someone looks at a godly wife, he (or she) ought to be able to say, "She is presenting to me a picture of how I ought to submit to my Lord Jesus Christ. As I watch her live with her husband I am learning how to be the believer God wants me to be."
The husband's responsibility is even greater because he is picturing Christ Himself. As someone looks at a believing husband, he (or she) ought to be able to say, "He is presenting to me a picture of how Christ loves the church. As I watch him live with his wife, I am learning about Calvary LOVE. I am learning how Christ GAVE HIMSELF for the church, how He sacrificed His all for our eternal welfare. As I see him nourish and cherish his wife I am learning about the Lord's tender loving care towards me." Men, are you presenting the right picture?
Let us not take our Lord's commands lightly. God knows what makes a marriage work and we need to follow His Word and His perfect recipe. How can I expect my wife to obey God's commands if I am going to ignore them? How can I expect my wife to submit and obey if I refuse to love and nourish and cherish?
Let us take a good look in the mirror of God's Word (James 1:22-25) and see if there are areas where we need to change and correct our behavior. Let us be doers of the Word and not hearers only. Even if our wives are not faithful in doing their part, let us make sure that we are faithful in doing ours. May we love her and cherish her and nourish her, even if she fails to be as submissive as she ought. Often the believing wives are gracious and patient when it comes to the failures and shortcomings of their husbands. The husbands need to be gracious and patient when the wives fall short of being all that God would have them to be.
If we are really believers in Christ, let us act like it. Let us put off the old man and put away carnality and fleshly excuses, and let's play the man! "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong" (1 Cor. 16:13).
From our heart may we echo these words: "I acknowledge that, of myself I am unable to fulfill these obligations towards my wife, but I trust, even as my Lord Jesus has commanded in His Word that husbands should do these things, that He will by His grace enable me to do them, and so to live lovingly and joyfully with my wife, until death parts us or until our Lord Jesus comes." May it so be!
"We ought to obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29)
How to Handle Negative People:. Toxic people or personality too often can effect you.. "Don't let it." Most of the time they are the unhappy ones. . We can be faced with negative people and influences that surround us and affect us as a person , in all areas of our life. “Toxic” people are like vampires . They suck the life and energy right out of you. Toxic people are ultimately the people who ...cause you the most negative stress in your life. They are the people that make you feel unhappy, or spoil your mood purposely every chance they get. Toxic people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy, and all too often, they will squash any type of lifestyle change YOU are trying to make. What needs to happen is learning how to deal with it if you can not remove them out of your life. Many times its how you react to what they are saying and doing. I guess as a christian its a test we need to pass. In the name of Jesus I plan on passing the test. I need to go in prayer, turn on faith music. A happy heart in prayer and faith is very powerful. God is in control. Do what you can handle then let Go Let God.